Readthearticlequicklyandahefollogquestions.
1.Didyoueverpraisepeoplewithouttrygtogetsothgfrothe?
2.Inyouropionwhat’stheostiportantprcipleofgettgalongwiththeothers?
IwaswaitgletisteraletterthepostofficeatThirty-thirdStreetahAvenueNewYork.Inoticedthattheclerkappearedtobeboredwiththejob—weighgenvelopes,handgoutstaps,akgge,issugreceipts—thesaonotonogrdyearafteryear.SoIsaidtoyself:“Iagogtotrytoakethatclerklike.Obvioly,toakehilike,Itsaysothgniotaboutyself,butabouthi.SoIaskedyself,whatisthereabouthithatIholyadire?”
Thatissotisahardquestiontoanswer,especiallywithstrangers;but,thiscase,ithappeobeeasy.IstantlysawsothgIadirednoend.
Sowhilehewasweighgyenvelope,Irearkedwithenthias:“IcertalywishIhadyourheadofhair.”
Helookedup,half-startled,hisfacebeagwithsiles.
“Well,itisn’tasgoodasitedtobe,”hesaidodestly.
Iassuredhithatalthoughitighthavelostsoofitspristeglory,helessitwasstillagnifit.Hewasselypleased.Wecarriedonapleasantlittleionandthestthghesaidtowas:“Manypeoplehaveadiredyhair.”
I’llbetthatpersoouttonchthatdaywalkgonair.I’llbethewenthothatnightandtoldhiswifeaboutit.I’llbethelookedtheirrorandsaid:“Itisabeautifulheadofhair.”
Itoldthisstoryoncepublidaanaskedafterwards:“Whatdidyouwanttogetoutofhi?”
WhatwasItrygtogetoutofhi!!!WhatwasItrygtogetoutofhi!!!Ifwearesoiblyselfishthatwe’tradiatealittlehappessandpassonabitofhoappreciationwithouttrygtogetsothgoutoftheotherpersourn—ifoursoulsarenobiggerthan
sourcrabapples,weshalletwiththefairewesorichlydeserve.
Ohyes,Ididwantsothgoutofthatchap.Iwantedsothgpriceless.AndIgotit.IgotthefeelgthatIhaddohgforhiwithouthisbegabletodoanythgwhateverreturnfor.Thatisafeelgthatflowsandsgsyourorylongafterthetispast.
Thereisoneall-iportantwofhuannduct.Ifweobeythatw,weshallalostnevergettotrouble.Infact,thatw,ifobeyed,willbrguntlessfriendsandnstanthappess.Buttheverystantwebreakthew,weshallgettoerouble.
Thewisthis:Alwaysaketheotherpersonfeeliportant.JohnDewey,aswehavealreadynoted,saidthatthedesiretobeiportantisthedeepesturgehuannature;andWilliaJassaid：“Thedeepestprciplehuannatureisthecravgtobeappreciated.”AsIhavealreadypotedout,itisthisurgethatdifferentiatesfrotheanials.Itisthisurgethathasbeenresponsibleforcivilizationitself.
Philosophershavebeegontherulesofhuaionshipsforthoandsofyears,andoutofallthatspecution,therehasevolvedonlyoneiportantprecept.Itisnotnew.Itisasoldashistory.ZoroastertaughtittohisfollowersPersiaenty-fivehundredyearsago.fucipreacheditChaenty-fourturiesago:“Dountoothersasyouwouldhaveothersdountoyou.”
有一次，在纽约33街区的一个邮局里，我正在排队寄一封挂号信，无意间发现那位负责收寄挂号信的工作人员看起来对工作很厌烦的样子——称信、取邮票、找零、开收据……年复一年地重复着这些单调乏味的动作。
于是，我暗暗对自己说：“我一定要让这个人注意我。显然，让他注意我，我就一定要对他说一些赞美的话——不是关于我的，而是关于他的。”于是，我问自己：“他身上有哪些东西值得我称赞呢？”
有时，这样的问题很难有答案，特别是在面对一个陌生人的时候。然而，巧合的是，我一眼就发现了他身上值得我称赞的地方。这样一来，事情就变得简单多了。
于是当他为我称信时，我热情地对他说：“我真希望能有像您这样的好头发。”
听了我的话，他抬起了头，显得有些吃惊，脸上还露出一丝由衷的微笑。
“不过，现在没有以前的好了。”他很谦虚地说。
我真诚地对他说，尽管头发的光泽或许比以前稍差了点，不过看上去依然很不错。他显得非常高兴，我们开心地聊了起来。最后，他对我说：“许多人都曾夸奖过我的头发。”
我相信，他那天吃午餐的时候肯定是心情欢畅的；我相信，他晚上回家后，肯定会跟他的妻子讲起这件事；我还相信，他会站在镜子前欣赏着自己的头发，并由衷地说上一句：“我的头发多漂亮啊！”
我曾经在一个公开场合讲过这个故事。故事讲完后有个人问我：“您希望从他那里得到些什么呢？”