麦克斯·毕尔勃姆/MaxBeerboh
麦克斯·毕尔勃姆（1872—1956），英国著名讽刺画家、散文家和剧评家。曾就读于牛津大学。除擅长绘画外，他还写过不少散文，并取得了较高的成就。后来继萧伯纳任《星期六评论》剧评专栏作者达十二年之久，晚年移居美国直到去世。
AcetheHole
Uandthesenewwordsbeforeyoureadthisarticle.
1.nguish[l??ɡwi?]v.失去活力
2.prophecy[pr?fisi]n.预言
3.agic[?ɡik]adj.地磁的；有磁性的
4.nfess[k?nfes]v.承认
Ianotgoodatit.Todoitwellseestooneoftheostdifficultthgstheworld,andprobablyseessotoyou,too.
ToseeafriendofffroWaterlootoVauxhallwereeasyenough.Butwearenevercalledontoperforthatsallfeat.Itisonlywhenafriendisgogonalongishjourney,andwillbeabsentforanguishti,thatweturnupattherailwaystation.Thedearerthefriendandthelohejourney,andthelohelikelyabsentratiototheserionessoftheoasion,andtothedepthofourfeelg.
Inaroo,orevenonadoorstep,weesthegenuesorrowwefeel.Nordowordsfail.Thereisnoawkwardness,rat,oherside.Thethreadofourtiacyhasnotbeensheleave-takgisanidealone.Whynot,then,leavetheleave-takgatthat?Always,departgfriendsiplorenottobothertoetotherailwaystatio.Always,wearedeaftotheseeies,knogthetobenotquitescere.Thedepartgfriendswouldthkitveryoddofifwetooktheattheirword.Besides,theyreallydowanttoseeaga.Andthatwishisheartilyreciprocated.Wedulyturnup.Andthen,ohthen,whatagulfyawns!Westretchourarsvalyacrossit.Wehaveutterlylosttouch.Wehavenothgatalltosay.Wegazeateachotherasdubanialsgazeathuanbegs.We“akeion”—andsuversation!Weknowthatthesefriendsarethefriendsfrowhowepartedht.Theyknowthatwehavenotaltered.Yet,onthesurface,everythgisdifferent;andthetensionissuchthatweonlylongfortheguardtoblowhiswhistleandputaothefarce.
OnaldgreyofstweekIdulyturnedupatEton,toseeoffanoldfriendwhowasstartgforArica.
ht,wehadgivenhiafarewelldner,whichsadnesswaswellgledwithfestivity.Yearsprobablywouldepsebeforehisreturn.Soofightneverseehiaga.Notigntheshadowofthefuture,wegailycelebratedthepast.Wewereasthankfultohaveknowasweweregrievedtolosehi;andboththeseeotionswereadea.Iterfectfarewell.
Andnow,herewewere,stiffandself-nscioofor;andfradthedowoftherailway-carriagewasthefaceofourfriend;butitwasasthefaceofastranger—astrangeranxiotoplease,anappealgstranger,anawkwardstranger.“Haveyougoteverythg?”askedoneof,breakgasilence.“Yes,everythg,”aidourfriend,withapleasantnod.“Everythg,”herepeated,withtheephasisofaybra.“You’llbeabletora,”saidI,thoughtheprophecyhadalreadybeenadeorethanonce.“Oh,yes,”hesaidwithnvi.HeaddedthatthetrawentstraightthroughtoLiverpool.Thisfactseedtostrikeasratherodd.Weexgedgnces.“Doesn’titsatCrewe?”askedoneof.“No,”saidourfriend,briefly.Heseedalostdisagreeable.Therewasalongpae.Oneof,withanodandaforcedsileatthetraveler,said“Well!”Thenod,thesileandtheunangonosylble,werereturnedioly.Anotherpaewasbrokenbyoneofwithafitofughg.Itwasanobviolyassudfit,butitservedtopasstheti.Thebtleoftheptforwasunabated.Therewasnosignofthetra’sdeparture.Release—ours,andourfriend’s—wasnotyet.
Mywandergeyealightedonaratherportlyiddle-agedanwhowastalkgearlyfrotheptfortoayoungdyatthedowbutooours.Hisfeprofilewasvaguelyfailiarto.TheyoungdywasevidentlyAri,andhewasevidentlyEnglish;otherwiseIshouldhaveguessedfrohisipressiveairthathewasherfather.IwishedIuldhearwhathewassayg.Iwassurehewasgivgtheverybestadvice;andthestrongtendernessofhisgazewasreallybeautiful.Heseedagiedit?
InafshIrebered.TheanwasHubertLeRos.ButhowgedscestIsawhi!Thatwassevenhtyearsago,theStrand.Hewasthen(asual)outofane,andborrowedhalf-a-.Itseedaprivilegetolendanythgtohi.Hewasalwaysagitor,andaanofsoberhabit.But,likeanyothersofhiskd,HubertLeRos(Idonot,ofurse,givetheactualnabywhichhewasknown)driftedspeedilyawaytotheprovces;andI,likeeveryoneelse,ceasedtoreberhi.
Itwasstraoseehi,afteralltheseyears,hereoforofEton,lookgsoprosperoandsolid.Itwasnotonlythefleshthathehadputon,butalsotheclothes,thatadehihardtnize.Intheolddays,aniitationfurathadseedtobeastegralapartofhiaswerehisill-shornnternjaws.Butnowhisstuwasaodelofridsoberoderation,drag,notcallg,attentiontoitself.Helookedlikeabanker.Anyoneuldhavebeenproudtobeseenoffbyhi.
“Standback,please!”hetrawasabouttostart,andIwavedfarewelltoyfriend.LeRosdidnotstandback.HestoodcspgbothhandsthehandsoftheyoungAri.“Standback,sir,please!”heobeyed,butquicklydartedfatowhispersofalword.Ithkthereweretearshereyes.Therecertalyweretearshiswhen,atlength,havgwatchedthetraoutofsight,heturnedround.Heseed,heless,delightedtosee.HeaskedwhereIhadbeenhidgalltheseyears;andsiultaneolyrepaidthehalf-asthoughithadbeenborrowedyesterday.Helkedhisare,andwalkedwithslowlyalongtheptfor,saygwithleasurehereadydraaticcriticisseverySaturday.
Itoldhi,return,howuchhewasissedoage.“Ah,yes,”hesaid,“Ineverathestagenowadays.”Heidsoephasisontheword“stage.”andIaskedhiwhere,then,hedidact.“Ofor,”heanswered.“Youan,”saidI,“thatyoureciteats?”Hesiled.“This,”hewhispered,strikghisstitheground,“istheptforIan.”Hadhisysterioprosperityunhgedhi?Helookedquitesane.Ibeggedhitobeoreexplicit.
“Isuppose,”hesaidpresently,givgalightforthecigarwhichhehadoffered,“Youhavebeenseegafriendoff?Iassented.HeaskedwhatIsupposedhehadbeendog.IsaidthatIhadwatchedhidogthesathg.“No,”hesaidgravely.“Thatdywasnotafriendofe.Itherforthefirsttithis,lessthanhalfanho,here.”andagahestrucktheptforwithhisstick.
InfessedthatIwasbewildered.Hesiled.“Youay,”hesaid,“haveheardoftheAnglo-AriSocialBureau?Ihadnot.HeexpedtothatofthethoandsofAriswhoannuallypassthroughEngndthereareanyhundredswhohavenoEnglishfriends.Intheolddaystheyedtlettersoftrodu.ButtheEnglisharesohospitablethattheselettersarehardlyworththepapertheyarewrittenon.”Th,“aidLeRos,”theA.A.S.B.suppliesalowant.Arisareasociablepeople,andostofthehaveplentyofoospend.TheA.A.S.B.suppliesthewithEnglishfriends.Fiftypertofthefeesispaidovertothefriends.TheotherfiftyisretaedbytheA.A.S.B.Ianot,as!Adirector.IfIwere,Ishouldbeaveryrideed.Iaonlyaneployee.ButevensoIdoverywell.Iaoneoftheseers-off.
AgaIaskedforenlightennt.“ManyAris,”hesaid,“otaffordtokeepfriendsEngnd.Buttheyallaffordtobeseenoff.Thefeeisonlyfivepounds(enty-fivedolrs)forasgletraveller;apounds(fortydolrs)forapartyofoorore.TheysendthattotheBureau,givgthedateoftheirdeparture,andadescriptionbywhichtheseer-offid.“Ofurseitisworthit,”saidLeRos.“Itpreventsthefrofeelg‘Outofit.’Itearnsthetherespectoftheguard.Itsavesthefrobegdespisedbytheirfellow-passehepeoplewhogtobeontheboat.Itgivestheafootgforthewholevoyage.Besides,itisagreatpleasureitself.Yousawseegthatyoungdyoff.Didn’tyouthkIdiditbeautifully?”“Beautifully,”Iaditted.“Ienviedyou.TherewasI—”“Yes,Iiage.Therewereyou,shufflgfroheadtofoot,stargbnklyatyourfriend,trygtoakeion.Iknow.That’showIedtobeyself,beforeIstudied,aothethgprofessionally.Idon’tsayI’perfectyet.I’stillaartyrtoptfht.Arailwaystationistheostdifficultofallpcestoact,asyouhavedisveredforyourself.”“But,”Isaidwithresentnt,“Iwasn’ttrygtoact.Ireallyfelt.”“sodidI,yboy,”aidLeRos.“You’tactwithoutfeelg.What’s-his-na,theFren—Diderot,yes—saidyouuld;butwhatdidheknowaboutit?Don’tyouseethosetearsyeyeswherastarted?Ihadn’tforcedthe.ItellyouIwasoved.Sowereyou,Idaresay.Butyouuldn’thavepupedupateartoproveit.You’texpressyourfeelgs.Inotherwords,you’tact.Atanyrate,”headdedkdly,“notarailwaystation.”“Teach!”cried.Helookedthoughtfullyat.“Well,”hesaidatlength,“theseeg-offseasonispracticallyover.Yes,I’llgiveyouaurse.Ihaveagoodanypupilsonhandalready;butyes,”hesaid,nsultganorebook,“IuldgiveyouanhouronTuesdaysandFridays.”
Histers,Infess,areratherhigh.ButIdon’tgrudgethevestnt.
参考译文
我不会送行。它可是我所认为世上最难做好的事情之一，对此，你大概也心有同感。
送一位朋友从滑铁卢去渥克斯厅可以说是一件相当简单的事。但你从来就接不到这种轻松活儿。我们只有当朋友要远行，离去的时间又比较长时，才被召唤亲赴车站送行。朋友交情越好，送的路程越远，朋友离去的时间越长，我们就越早到达车站，相应的，我们遭遇的失败也就越为惨烈。这种失败的程度恰恰与场合的正式以及感情的深厚程度成正比。
屋内话别已十分体面，甚至在门前台阶也不错。我们脸上的表情书写着真切的忧伤，言语里透出恋恋不舍之情，主客双方不觉尴尬或拘谨，亲密友谊更是丝毫无损。如此的送别真可谓完美。可我们怎么就不懂到了这种程度就应该罢休呢？通常情况下，即将远行的友人们总是恳求我们次日早晨不要再赶到车站。但我们知道那不一定是真心话，便也就不听信那劝说的话，还是奔向车站。假若真的听信了朋友们的话，并且照着做了，他们说不定心里还会责怪呢。何况，他们也确实希望能再见上我们一面。于是我们也就按时到达，真诚地去回应朋友的愿望。但结果却，结果却，陡然生出一道鸿沟！我们伸手，可怎么也无法超越，谁也够不着谁。我们哑口无言，像愚笨的动物痴望人类一样面面相觑。我们“找些话题来说”——但哪里有什么话好说的！大家都心知肚明离别之景昨夜就已上演了一遍。人还是昨晚的那些人，但从表面上看，所有的又都变了，气氛是如此紧张，我们都盼望着列车员赶紧鸣笛，及早结束这场闹剧。
上周一个冷清阴沉的早晨，我准点赶到奥斯顿送一位去美国的朋友。
头一天晚上，我们已经摆设筵席为他饯行，席间分手的离情和聚会的喜庆糅合得恰到好处。他这一去可能就是多年，席上有些人恐怕今世也难得再见他面。虽然说不上完全不受未来所投下的阴影的影响，可我们还是兴高采烈，畅叙了往日情谊。我们既为认识这位朋友而感谢命运，同时又因他的行将离别而遗憾不已。此两种情怀欣然体现，昨晚的离别真是完美！
可现在呢，我们在站台上，行为僵硬，极不自然，友人的面孔嵌在车厢窗框中，却宛如一个陌生人——一个急于讨人欢心的陌生人，一个情意真切但却又举止笨拙的陌生人。“东西都带齐了吧？”送行的人中有一个打破了沉默。“对，都带齐了。”我们的朋友愉快地点了点头，答道“都齐了。”紧接着的这再次重复更加明显地暴露出此刻他头脑的空空如也。“那你得在火车上吃午饭了，”我说道，尽管这个预言远非第一次被提出。“啊，是的。”他用确定的语气回答，然后又告诉大家，列车将中途不停直达利物浦。这句新加上的话可似乎就带来了惊讶。我们彼此对视。“在克鲁也不停吗？”一个人问道。“不停。”朋友回答得简短，甚至都有些不悦了。较长一阵时间的停顿过后，有个人对我们的朋友回了句“行！”，与此同时还点着头，作强颜欢笑状。车内的朋友无意识地重复着点头，微笑和“行”这个单音节词。沉默再次接踵而至，多亏我们中的一位干咳了几声打破这沉闷的寂静——那咳嗽当然是假装出来的，但它们却恰到好处地拖延了时间。列车似乎没有立即出发的迹象，站台上还是乱哄哄的。关于解除送别紧张的气氛——无论于送客的，还是于被送的——这个时刻还没有到来。
我的目光四处游弋，移到一个中年人身上的时候眼前突然一亮，他体格颇为健壮，站在站台上，正同我们旁边第三个窗口里的一名年轻女郎亲切话别。他良好的体型于我似乎并不陌生。那女郎显然是个美国人，而他作为英国人的特征也十分明显。如果不注意这点，单从他娓娓而谈的神态判断，我定会把他们当成一对父女。我热切地想听到他说话的内容，十分确定他此时正提供着最宝贵的建议；而他又是那般温柔地凝视着他的倾听者，真是活脱脱的一个美男子。末了，他又叮咛几句，更是魅力慑人了，连站在那么远之外的我都能感受到。而这魅力，就好比他的身材，隐隐约约为我所熟悉。但我在哪见到过呢？